Introduction

Hi, my name is Becky. I am a wife, a mother, sister, daughter, aunt, employee. Between my obligations and duties, I have a hard time taking time for myself. I am creating this blog as a motivator to help me on my journey to health.

My motivators for losing weight:
1 - I want to be able to play with my 2 little boys. I want to be able to run with them, keep up with them.
2 - Because I was older when I had them, I will be in my late 40s when they graduate. I want to to be here as they get married and have children of their own. I want to be able to be healthy enough that I can play with my grandchildren. This is funny saying this as my boys are currently 4 and 1, but this is something that I think about.
3 - I have always been the "fat" sister. Looking back, I was so NOT fat when I was younger, but because I was taller and bigger than my sisters, I felt like the fat one. When I was working out at the gym with a trainer, one of my sisters told me, "If you ever get skinnier than me, I will kill myself." Since then, I have had the desire to be the skinny sister for once. Not so that my sister would "kill" herself, but so I can be "so there!"
4 - This is a vain motivator, but it is there. All the cute clothes are too small for me. I want to be able to buy cute clothes. I want to be able to shop in the "normal" section of a clothing store.

There are many reasons that I have gotten to where I am. Most of them have been busyness and laziness. My first weight jump was after high school. I got a job at a fast food joint, moved into my first apartment, and became depressed. I found myself eating every single meal at this fast food joint. Heck, I got 50% off when I was working so if I planned it right, I could eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner for pretty cheap. Then, I would find myself going in the middle of the night to the 24 hour drive thru and ordering 2-3 hamburgers, all of which I ate consecutively. This is a lot of food! I found myself jumping from 140 lbs to 180 lbs very quickly.

I served a mission for my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I served in Micronesia. I am pretty sure I lost weight on my mission. We walked a TON! However, since I didn't have access to a scale, I am not completely sure. I came home and then quickly fell back into my old eating patters. Before I new it I weighed 220 lbs. How could this be? Arg!

I started an exercise program working out to Tai Bo. Who has ever done this before? I lost 10 lbs, to which I was ecstatic, but was sidelined when I had to have my gallbladder removed. I lost my stride and didn't get it back. Between work and school (at this point, I was working full time and going to school 1/2 time,) it was very difficult to make time to work out. My weight kept climbing.

In 2006, I decided to change my habits. I joined the gym and signed up for a trainer. I quickly lost 10 lbs, dropping to 240 lbs, but then maintained my weight as I continued to fat but gain muscles. While I was working out, I didn't really change my eating habits. I felt that I ate pretty healthy, but in hind site, I was not healthy at all! In 2007 I met my husband and found myself wanting to hang out with him in my free time instead of going to the gym. I had gotten down to 230 lbs by the time I married him. I then found myself still working, going to school full time now, and being a wife. I let the gym go. I just didn't feel like I had the time. I tried to walk and got down to 220 lbs, but when winter came, I stopped and soon I was back up to 250 lbs. See my yo-yo weight? A lot of this had to do with the way I was eating. I never changed it.

When I got pregnant with my oldest in 2009, I weighed 250 lbs. It was incredibly difficult to maintain activity during this pregnancy. While I never got sick, when I was 6 weeks along, we thought I miscarried. My placenta had started to separate from my uterus. As a result, I spent the first 12 weeks on chair rest as I tried to save my baby. I did really good an by the time I was 7 months pregnant, I had only gained 7 lbs. However, by the time I gave birth at 41 weeks, I had gained a total of 22 lbs. I weighed in at 272 lbs. Those last 2 months were hard every time I went to the doctor! After birth, I quickly lost weight, but then I craves SUGAR! I couldn't leave it alone. I returned to work and everyday I went to pump, I had to stop by the cafeteria and buy a cookie. Yeah, not the best choice.

I was able to mostly maintain my weight and when I got pregnant in 2011 with #2, I weighed in at 255 lbs. Just a slight weight gain from my first pregnancy. By the time I delivered in April 2012, I weighed in at 275 lbs, my heaviest weight ever. I tried to ignore this and focus on the fact that I was growing a baby. I was able to stay at 250 lbs after the birth of my baby, but wanted in the last year, I gained more weight.

There were a couple of things that have helped flip the switch in my brain to really make my journey to health a serious thing.

1 - I don't consider myself as fat. I would even watch The Biggest Loser and see people at the beginning. I would think, "Wow, they really need this," then they would get on the scale and weight the same as me. Yet I still couldn't think of myself as fat. I know, this is a complete denial. My eyes can lie to me when I look into the mirror. However, pictures do not lie. I think it was in November that I attended a baby shower. I got there late and the only seat was next to the expectant mother. As she opened her gifts, I was in Every. Single. Picture. These pictures were posted on FaceBook and I was tagged. I looked at them and thought, "Oh my gosh, is that how I really look?" It was most definitely an eye-opener.

2 - Off and on last year, my right shoulder started to really hurt. When my baby started walking, it went away. I figured it was because I had to carry my 30 lb baby all around. Then, in December, it started to hurt again, and worse than before. Right after Christmas, I went to the doctor and found out I had "Frozen Shoulder Syndrome." That wasn't the key though. The key was when they had me stand on the scale and weigh myself as they took my vitals. It said, 272 lbs. The only time I have weighed more than that was when I was 9 months pregnant with my 2nd! Eye-opener #2.

I knew I had to do something. I have been following Body Buddies on Facebook since about April last year. She advocates a healthy eating program called The Power Foods Lifestyle. I had tried to plan my own meals but quickly became overwhelmed with it. She posted that she was offering a challenge for 8 weeks where she would provide the meal plans and grocery lists. Of course I jumped on it. While this only lasts for 8 weeks, I plan on making this a lifestyle change. These 8 weeks will help me set up the foundation for the rest of my journey.